By Erin Bush
We arrived in sun dresses [the girls at least] and flip flops and stared at the great green hill sloping up toward the west, basked in full sun. Dolores Park in San Francisco was completely packed with your garden-variety San Franciscans. All neighborhoods were represented – hippies, hipsters, FiDi, Castro, Lower Haighters, Marina dwellers – many of them shirtless, many of them should have had on their shirts. There were guys in just sarongs, just sarongs. One group brought an actual rug to sit on. After making our spot in the beloved park, we unzipped the cooler, kicked off our flip flops and began one of the best afternoons I have had in a while. Everyone brought a little something to the party, for my part I brought my Stoner’s Delight cookies. Note: There were no drugs in these cookies, but they have enough butter and sugar in them to satisfy any stoner’s appetite and to make Paula Deen smile – after her insulin shot.
My cookies comprised of Peanut Butter Stuffed Oreos® shoveled inside peanut butter and chocolate swirled chocolate-chip cookies. Heaven. I even got a big hug and a kiss on the cheek from a man I met about four minutes prior. That same man, yelled “Hot Hot HOT! HOT!!” – he could have been referring to the cookies, or maybe it was because I took off my dress to reveal my awesome bikini — either way the afternoon was shaping up quite nicely. A little while later he packed up his things and on his way out of the park stopped by leaned down very slowly, bringing his face closer to mine, and finally laid a nice firm kiss right on my lips. Clearly, he loved me.
I later found out he was gay but, who’s really keeping track? I guess those were really good cookies.
Drinks, snacks, banter, stories and a few drinks – it was a great day. At one point (and this is probably the crowning moment of the afternoon), my friend Ali, a former Olympic Lifter in college, threw me over the back of her shoulders and squatted me, three times. I hope to achieve such feats in the very near future. Mostly to continue to intimidate men.
Another friend, Will, showed us his athletic prowess by starting in a cross-legged sitting position and pressing up to a handstand. We played a few games of washers – a game of horseshoes if you don’t have horseshoes — complete with plenty of shit talking. I did a back handspring – in a bikini. One guy just kept flexing and telling us to check out his lats – he belonged to us, and I might be going on a date with him in the very near future.
Two weeks off OkCupid and already seeing results. Definitely positive reinforcement.
