Facing the Figures: My Battle Against Math Phobia

By Pamela Canning

I know that my blog is usually wrapped around pop culture, but lately I have been thinking about the baggage we all carry and how it can rear its ugly head in funny ways.  Although, a lot of us work diligently at “lightening the load” it appears that even a few unattended items can appear out of nowhere.  For me, that baggage is all about math class. 

I have avoided math for as long as I can remember, but I have now come to a place in my life where I can’t avoid it any longer; to continue on with my education I must walk head on into the world of numbers.  Yep – that’s right: I have to go back to a math class.

I have equated my lack of math skill with a lack of intelligence, which I completely know is false, but for me, the baggage is just that.  With math there is no gray, it is only black or white with no place to hide; comparable to standing naked in a room full of incredibly smart people.  Some have named it “math anxiety or math phobia” and they are right it is, but there is much more to it than that.  I have been able to excel in most areas of my life in a way that makes me proud, but having said that, there waits math.

Yes, it’s true I am a creative person which means I clearly use the right side of the brain leaving the left side a bit underused, to say the least. I have dusted off the cobwebs, called my sister incessantly and swore at my Professor, jokingly of course.

The challenge is on me, will I let this subject which has brought with it a small suitcase of past issues bring me to a halt in my flow of achieving further education?  I think not.  God bless my family and teachers because this subject makes me swear like a truck driver, cry like a baby and physically get sick.   To succumb to the power of the past would be to stop growing, which is far scarier than math facts.